Last week in the Lift article we looked at the first part of the phrase, forgiveness. Today we are considering the second part, reconciliation. (NewsNation) “In 1995, 14-year-old Tony Hicks became the youngest person in California to be charged and convicted as an adult with murder for killing 20-year-old San Diego pizza deliveryman Tariq Khamisa.
“Sometimes in deep trauma, there is a spot of clarity,” Azim Khamisa told NewsNation. “I realized that Tony was not my enemy.” Nine months after his son’s death, Khamisa started the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, which tries to convince teens to turn away from gangs, crime, and violence. He also tried to convince Hicks to join the effort even as he remained behind bars. Hicks resisted for five years. “I didn’t feel like I was ready,” Hicks said. “I didn’t feel like I deserved to be forgiven for what I had done.” Eventually, he did agree and now sits on the foundation board. Hicks was released from prison in 2019 after serving 24 years for Tariq Khamisa’s death.
Azim Khamisa says he heard the arguments against forgiveness, and for hanging Hicks “from the highest pole. But how does that improve society?” The Tariq Khamisa Foundation has reached an estimated two million teens in its 29 years of operation. Many of its events feature Azim Khamisa and Tony Hicks on stage “together in the spirit of healing to end youth violence,” as the foundation’s website states.”
As we saw last week, we are commanded to forgive. We are also commanded to take the next step and “be reconciled.” Matthew 5:23-24, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift.” These are the words of Jesus. Jesus is God. Therefore, God himself commanded us to “be reconciled.” Since it is a command by God, to not reconcile is a sin. No matter who brought about the rift in our relationship, we must go to them and forgive, seek forgiveness and reconcile, to restore that relationship.
There are two caveats. Reconciliation may not always be legitimatelypossible. Romans 12.18, ”If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Paul taught that we must really, really try to reconcile, but there are times when the other person does not want to. Sometimes we say they don’t want to, but the truth is, we did not really try. We did not really forgive and did not really try to reconcile. If we try to reconcile, but they will not, that is all we can do. Pray for them anyway.
The second situation is when we do forgive, but because the hurt is so deep and severe, and our fear of being hurt again, we can’t be friends again or be around them at all or for very long. Some people cannot or will not change and are destined to hurt us again. And so reconciliation is not possible. However, forgiveness and being civil whenever you are around them is required. Paul takes it one step further. Romans 12.18, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink, in doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
And so, let us obey our Lord. Let us forgive and reconcile whenever it is possible, as it depends on us. May the Holy Spirit convict us all when we don’t. After all God forgave us and reconciled with us…
In Christ Alone
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